There are, undeniably, some benefits to being married. Both financially, and otherwise. But, are there benefits to being single as well? Would you be better off single?
One of the biggest financial benefits to being married is the ability to have two full-time incomes coming into the household. Using both incomes, we have the ability to save more money for retirement and for emergencies. But, we’ve still got to have the ability to see each other once in a while, so we have a limited ability to extend our work hours to increase our incomes. Being single, you have the ability to work 10-12 hours a day, and increase your income through overtime, or through a second, after-hours job.
As a single person, there’s no arguments over where the money should go, how much of it to save, or whether a person can survive on a diet of rice and beans. Frugality can be taken to extremes that are usually off limits to the married. Want to live in a one room shack with limited heating and cooling because you’re at work more than you’re at home? If you’re single, you can do that. Being married, especially if there are children, makes that a near impossibility. Want to take up a bike lane living lifestyle? In North Dakota? If you’re single, that’s probably possible. Married? With kids? Think again.
Being single also helps you save money. There are no Valentines gifts or anniversary gifts needed. Why buy a fancy bedroom set when a mattress on the floor will do the trick? Your dining out bill is easily cut in half, or more, since you don’t need to eat at those fancy restaurants. Taco Bell and Dominos will do just fine.
Without the restrictions on your time, you have free rein to do what you want, when you want to do it.
Are you single? Are you better off financially than you would be if you were married? Are you married? What do you think? Would you be better off, financially, if you were single?
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As a long time (43 years) married person, I believe marriage helped me achieve my goals. The second income and having someone close to me be my filter, supporter and partner is/was important to me. Having the right partner was an asset.
If I were single, I probably would have taken a different path to success. It is very hard to do a what if?
@ Krant – I think you hit the nail on the head. The two paths require some very different tools, so it’s kind of hard to really compare completely. Especially if you’ve been on one path or the other for a long period of time (Congratulations on 43 years!).
I think you make some good points here shane, though I have to say that I think being married will help me (once I get there) – I’ll have someone to stay accountable to when making debt repayments and savings goals, and could be introduced to new methods of saving money as well.
There are times when I think it is better financially to be single, spend less on furniture, less on many different items around the house, but then again I would probably be out eating and drinking much more often, so I would spend more money that way. overall we save more together than we would separately.
I’m single and I definitely like the fact that I can decide to keep it cold to keep down expenses. However, I do have friends that are able to do more because they have that second income as a safety net. For example, they can save one income and live on the other. As a single person with a social life, I cannot do the same and work 80 hours per week. But then, if I was offered a position where I had to travel and I could make twice the money, I wouldn’t have to worry about moving my family.
Married hands down. My wife and I both bring in mid six figure incomes.. No way in hell I can bring in that amount of money without killing myself through work. The key here is finding someone who has the potential to earn.
Another thing to note. When you’re married and living off 1 income your have less risk than single person. A single person loses their job and they have 0 income. I lose my job and we still can maintain the same lifestyle. Now factor in you’re spending your life with someone you love and you have not financial worries.. Marriage wins all the way if done a certain way.
@jeff I think the accountability bit is an important one. When you’re single, there’s nobody to yell at you if you go out and blow your budget on dinner.
@evan yes, there are some expenses that just aren’t incurred when married, like eating out more, and going out on the town more often.
@latisha the freedom to relocate or travel is one that I do miss about being single.
@yfs yep, there are some situations where both are the winners.
I think that there are so many other untangable benefits to being married like the support, happniess, family, life fulfillment, etc. that they make the other issues a non-issue.
It definitely costs more with a family, but I also make more responsible decisions. Plus, I wouldn’t trade the love and joy that I get from my wife and kids even if it did mean the opportunity to save more.
If your definition of single is simply not married, financially C and I would both be better off right now- his financial aid wouldn’t be tied to my salary (so he’d qualify for grants and subsidized loans), and he could file taxes as a single taking the standard deduction. I’d then file taxes as a single and get to take the whole mortgage interest all for myself.
But whether or not we’d be better off financially sinlge, I don’t think either of us has any desire to be single. Our relationship is one of the constant, stabalizing things in our lives. I don’t care how much it “costs” me (as the sole breadwinner) to be married to him, the benefits are definitely worth it.
@hank Absolutely. As a married man myself, I can’t help but think about those intangibles.
@money beagle Yes. It’s a lot like the discussion on whether kids are too expensive to have or not. Once you’ve got them, you can’t imagine life without them no matter the cost.
@shanendoah I think for the sake of this post, the definition is simply not married. The ongoing theme in this and other discussions on the subject seems to be that the cost might be more, financially, on occasion, but that the bits that you can’t put a price/cost on make it worth the while.
Studies show that on average men who live single are far better off than when they’re married, and single women are worse off than if they’re married.
I think if you married a like minded frugal person.. you can still live the same basic frugal life that you would if you were single. Being married has only benefited us. We still pay all the same living expenses as we would if there was one person living here (okay, a bit more for groceries I guess) – but with two incomes coming in, we’re far better off.
I definitely take advantage of single living. I don’t have to worry about sharing my income with anyone (like kids) and can take time to run small business projects on the side without concern.
It really depends… For me it turned out a little bit more expensive to be in a couple than to be single….
The grass is always greener, right? I’m single, but there’s no way I’d live in a shack without heat to save money. I really think that if you do it right, it doesn’t have to cost twice as much to be married living together than it does to be single living alone. It’s unlikely that I would end up living in a one-bedroom apartment as a married person (especially with kids) but larger rentals are not twice as expensive.
That said, my man’s a saver, so I know for a fact I’d be better off married to him than living alone.
It depends on who you marry and if you’ll stay married.
My husband and I work off of each other’s strengths, and even though he’s more of a spender, we definitely help each other financially. He introduced me to a computer program that we use to balance our checkbook and track our net worth; I helped him reign in a little spending.
Yikes, we’ve been married forever and it is awesome. We’ve switched off being the primary breadwinner. I took time off to raise our daughter and hubby spent a few years working part time when she was young. I wouldn’t change a thing.
@Rick financially, or overall?
@Julie That’s definitely a factor. If you marry someone who is wildly different, fiscally, you’ll likely end up in a statistic about how many marriages end because of finances.
@Eric In some ways, I wish I would have done more of the same. Too late now! 😉
@frugalportland You trying to send a message to your man, here? 😉
@Christa & @Barb Finding someone who you can play off of, and who is willing to trade roles occasionally is quite the find!
Right now, financially I’m better off being single… until I find the right person to accomplish things with together… better than halfassing it with someone who isn’t interested. Interesting post!
I’m not thinking of whether or not I’m better off financially being single, but rather I’m knowing that I need to take advantage of my time left as a single guy. I realize that I can live a bare bones lifestyle without arguments like you said above. As a result, I cut my lifestyle significantly, got myself out of debt fairly quickly and saved half of my income (after taxes) last year. I’m doing this to prepare for the day (hopefully), that I have a family. I’m sure it won’t be so easy to pile up savings or live so cheap when I have a family, so I’m taking advantage of this time being single.
A bad marriage can cost you big time, and not just financially….emotionally it can end badly. And it can destroy your ability to trust and your self confidence. This takes several years to overcome, if you work on it correctly. Also, as a woman, I think marriage is never set up to protect your rights and sense of self. Most women compromise more and end up making more sacrifices in the marriage than menu. Most women leave a bad marriage with kids in tow that they are responsible for unless you opt to pay a small amount of child support based on your salary and let your ex pay for the majority of the upkeep….which is not often “done” as well as the females can do it. Most marriages end in divorce nowadays, so your odds aren’t great. I would not invest my financial future and my old age security plans in any mutual fund, stock, etc. with those odds. Marriage is just a wild gamble, most of the time, made when you are too young to know better and your mating behavior patterns are at an all time high. Couple all this with the fact that most people in the U.S. do not make anywhere near 100,000 a year ( so that’s the pool of men you will probably have to choose from ), and you see the odds of you, hubby, and 2.5 kids doing well in the suburbs falls to less than what you probably had in mind. If you really want to try to have a committed relationship and still have access to your partner’s mula, then live together only afte having a truckload of lawyers write up everything they know how to protect your rights should the relationship fail…which happens more often than not. Otherwise, you may come home one day to find your bank accounts drained, most of your furniture and appliances gone, bills left unpaid, savings wiped out, and his dog abandoned and staring at you in the empty living room. Get real.
Getting married is going to cost money. And we might get hit with the “marriage penalty” on our taxes. But we both intend on remaining relatively frugal (like we were before) after we get married. We still will be fine eating cheaper meals as long as they’re tasty. We don’t mind keeping the heat low in the winter or using the same furniture we got for cheap/free 5-7 years ago. Some of the lifestyle inflation that comes with marriage also comes with just getting older/making more money.
I’ve read your newsletter and I think being single has great benefits fiscally and economically in long-term. It’s like, being a lone wolf. Your only concern is yourself. You don’t have to worry about other people and that what makes being single is great.
In The Millionaire Next Door and The Millionaire Mind we see that the typical American millionaire is married and has been for a long time. In many instances the spouse did not work. This correlates to other research I’ve read which shows married men are financially better off than single men.
I’ve felt this myself, having a partner keeps me accountable and forces me to plan for a future of responsibilities in a way I simply didn’t need to as a single person. Yes I was ultra frugal in some ways whilst single and lived in a way a couple simply couldn’t / wouldn’t. I lived out of my car, caves and forests as a rock climber. Was my net worth going up? Hell no!
My partnership has seen my income rise (offence) but more importantly the preservation of said money coming in (defence); it’s not what you make it’s what you keep. I could never seem to combine that combination when single, swinging from the extremes of high income, high consumption (living it large) or low income, low expenses (taking time out and living on ramen).
I was amused to hear a successful peer in my industry admit he’d be living out of his car if it wasn’t for his wife and kids.
I guess it all depends on the sort of man/woman you are. If you have a mission to achieve, and that mission is bigger than your marriage and your happiness, then maybe you might want to be single and devote all that spare time to your work.