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Why You Should Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

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Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

As parents, we often don’t want to allow teens to have natural consequences. However, that’s the worst thing we can do for them. Every decision a human being makes has consequences—either good or bad or a mixture of both. We learn from these consequences and hopefully make better decisions next time if the results are negative or the same type of decisions if the outcomes are positive. If parents don’t allow teens to have natural consequences, we enable them and deny them essential learning experiences.

Why You Should Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

Older teenagers are navigating the adult world and learning what is acceptable and what isn’t. In addition, they realize that they can now make their own decisions and live with the consequences.

How My Mom Allowed Me to Have Natural Consequences

The summer I was 17, my friend and I booked a flight for January from our homes in Michigan to my grandparents’ winter home in Florida. We thought flying to Florida in the middle of winter would be a relaxing way to start the new year. I paid for the ticket myself with money from my summer job.

What neither of us knew was that my friend’s life was about to go off the rails. She started using drugs heavily, and by the fall, we were no longer friends. I dreaded the upcoming trip to Florida. I didn’t even talk to my friend anymore. How could I stay with her at my grandparents’ home for ten days?

I asked my mom if I should call our doctor and see if he would write a medical excuse for why I could not go on the trip so I could get my money back for the ticket. She said I could try. When I called the doctor’s office, the receptionist chastised me for asking the doctor to lie. I was embarrassed and learned my lesson. I flew to Florida with my friend. The trip didn’t go as badly as I worried it might, and that turned out to be the last time we spent together.

How My Friend Is Allowing Her Daughter Natural Consequences

I was reminded of my own natural consequences story while watching my friend, Sandy, interact with her daughter, Julia. Sandy doesn’t have much money to pay for Julia’s college, so throughout Julia’s high school career, Sandy advised her to apply for scholarships. She told Julia how those scholarships could be used for tuition and living expenses. In addition, she talked to Julia about the harmful effects of student loans. However, Julia steadfastly refused to apply for scholarships. She also refused to get a job.

In addition, Sandy wanted Julia to learn to drive because the community college Julia planned to attend was 30 minutes from home. Julia attempted to learn to drive, but she quit after a few tries.

Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

Julia decided to take the bus to go to college, but she hated it. Now, she wants a car, but she has no money. She has pestered Sandy to help her get a car and pay for gas and insurance, but Sandy refuses. So instead, she’s asking Julia to find a way to pay for this herself since Julia previously refused to apply for scholarships or get a job. Meanwhile, she can take the bus even if she doesn’t like it.

Final Thoughts

Watching your child struggle is difficult. However, if parents allow teens to have natural consequences, they learn far more than having parents lecture them.

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Feed a Hungry Teenager without Breaking the Grocery Budget

Feed a Hungry Teenager Without Breaking Your Grocery Budget

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Feed a Hungry Teen

I’ve heard how expensive it is to feed a hungry teenager because they can eat everything in the house, and now I’m experiencing it firsthand.  My son isn’t even a teen—just 12—but over the last six months, he’s grown three inches and put on 20 pounds.  I used to think my husband could eat a lot, but our son can easily eat double or triple what his dad can eat.  Then an hour or two later, he’ll tell us he’s hungry again.  If you have a tween or teen, this may sound all too familiar.

However, we don’t really have enough room to raise the grocery budget, so we’re finding creative ways to keep him full.

Satisfying Foods to Feed a Hungry Teenager

There are several foods that can keep your hungry teen satisfied.

Protein

Meat can be expensive, but growing teens need protein to help them feel satiated.  We make sure to serve an ample serving of protein at breakfast and during every meal.  Some of our favorite breakfast proteins include homemade meat patties, eggs, or bacon.

For snacks, we like to make protein based snacks such as these Cacao Balls.  Between the pecans and protein powder, this snack keeps our teen full.

Healthy Carbs

Three staples in our teen’s diet are white potatoes, sweet potatoes, and rice.  He often eats rice with breakfast, homemade baked French fries for lunch, and baked sweet potatoes for dinner.  These carbs help fill him up and round out his meal.  After he eats an entire plateful of food and is still hungry, we give him vegetables and one of these carbs.

Fruits

These are a great way to fill up hungry teens, especially in between meals.  I find that grapefruit is my best bet.  It’s not that expensive, and it’s large and watery, so it fills him up.  Other options include apples, pears, bananas, oranges, or whatever other fruit you have on hand.  I always buy a lot of fruit when doing my weekly shopping.

Veggies

Vegetables are another choice that aren’t that expensive.  Organic carrots are .60 a pound at Costco.  We buy the ten pound bag and prepare them as raw carrot sticks or as roasted carrots.  We also frequently give the kids hummus to dip their veggies in.  Whenever a vegetable is on sale, I stock up and make extra knowing that our son will have multiple servings.

Healthy Fats

Feed a Hungry Teen
Photo by Heather Ford on Unsplash

Healthy fat can definitely help fill up a teen.  We’re big fans of avocado.  We often make guacamole to serve with our salads and soups.  We also serve it as a snack with organic corn chips.  Coconut oil, coconut cream, and coconut milk are also great ingredients to use in muffins, smoothies, and desserts to help satiate your child.  One of our go to favorites now is Chocolate Chia Pudding.  The chia and almond milk (or sub out for coconut milk) keep him full and satisfies his sweet tooth.

Foods to Avoid

Junk Food

I know, I know, teens love this stuff.  But the truth is, they can wolf down a bag of Cheetos or chips and then be hungry just a little later because they were eating empty calories.  We like to keep the junk food to a minimum and rely on healthy staples instead.  In the long run, when it comes to teen appetites, healthy food IS cheaper.  Plus, you’re helping your child maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Fast Food

The stereotype has teen boys living off fast food.  While it is temporarily filling, if your child relies on this type of food frequently, he may be facing health issues down the road.

Final Thoughts

While teen’s appetites do ramp up tremendously in the tween and teen years, feeding them healthy food without ruining the grocery budget is possible.  Our family has a number of food intolerances, so we can’t rely on other staples that will help fill kids up like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or cottage cheese, but those are also fairly nutritious options.

What are your favorite foods to help fill your growing teen’s bottomless pit?  Please share.

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Teen Employment: 4 Questions to Ask Before Your Teenager Takes a Part-Time Job

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Working part-time is a rite of passage for many teens.  Teen employment can lead to increased independence—new friends at work, extra spending money, money to save, etc.  However, teens should think carefully before applying for and taking a job.  Ideally, they won’t just by default apply to the local restaurant or fast food restaurant.  Instead, they should choose a job that matches their goals and aspirations, if possible.

Before the job search begins, you and your teen should consider these questions:

Teen Jobs Employment
Orig. img. credit: Innovate Impact Media on Flickr

What is your teen’s interest?  What is your child interested in and good at?  What kind of job could he do that he would enjoy and that wouldn’t feel like a grind after a few months?  If he loves animals, maybe he could consider working at a pet store or a dog groomers.

What career is your teen considering?  If your child is a junior or senior in high school, she likely has a career choice in mind.  If she’s choosing between several, now is the time to learn more and help her narrow down her choices.

When I was a senior, I worked at a vet clinic.  I had the opportunity to work with the animals and even observe surgeries.  I had been toying with the idea of being a veterinarian, but after a summer at the job, I decided I didn’t want to invest all of the time and money it took to become a vet.  The job just wasn’t one I’d enjoy that much.

Ideally, your child’s job can help them discern if this is the right career path for them.  If it’s not, you and your child have saved thousands on an education they might not have used in the future.

What is your teen’s temperament?  How does your child do under pressure?  Is he introverted or extroverted?  Jobs available to teens can vary widely.  Some jobs will have them interacting with the public regularly while others will not.  Choose the job that best fits his temperament.

However, sometimes a good job that doesn’t perfectly fit your child’s temperament can provide learning opportunities, so also consider that a stretch in comfort level isn’t all bad.

Will this job help your child get into college or get a job in his career field?  Ultimately, a job should not just give your teen some spending money but also help her get into college or into her career field.  The jobs that teens take should be stepping stones into the life that they see for themselves.

Also, don’t be afraid to end the job if it is distracting your child from his ultimate goals.  Too often, teens take what looks to be a good job only to be given more work hours than they can handle, which causes their schoolwork to suffer.  Getting experience in their chosen field IS important and can help them get a better job later in life, but they also must focus on their studies.

Did you have a job as a teen that helped open doors for you or helped you choose your career field, or did you simply work whatever job was available?