You need to take a loan, but you realize that your credit score determines your borrowing power. Lenders, utility companies, landlords, etc., use your credit score to determine if you can take a loan from them.
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How to Deal with a Person Who Keeps on Asking for Money
Most of us know a family member or friend who is always asking for money. They may start their request with a typical line, “I hate to ask, but I have a financial situation and wondered if you could help?” If they’ve asked you many times before, they may also add, “I promise, this will be the last time I ask.” Sound familiar? If you have experienced this, here’s how to deal with this type of person in your life.
Recognize Your Role in the Problem
If you have a person like this in your life, recognize that you’ve enabled this person to feel dependent on you. You do this by lending the person money over and over again even though the person repeatedly shows that she is financially irresponsible.
I don’t point this out to make you feel bad but rather to help you recognize your role in this cycle. However, you can take steps now to end the dependency and become part of the solution rather than the problem.
How to Deal with a Person Who Keeps on Asking for Money
The first step is to decide that you won’t allow the person to take advantage of you anymore. Instead, try one of these tactics.
Firmly Say No
The next time a friend or family member asks for money, firmly but nicely tell him that you can’t lend him money anymore. Be confident in your delivery. If you say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t lend you money right now,” or “This week my money is tight, so I can’t give you anything,” you leave open the prospect of giving him money in the future, and the person will ask again next week.
You must instead clearly say that you will no longer be able to help him out financially. Then, he has no choice but to receive and understand your message. He may ask you again at a later time, but perhaps he won’t be as persistent in his request.
As you continue to firmly say no to his every request, he will stop asking. However, don’t be surprised if he becomes angry with you and perhaps even stops speaking to you for a time.
Manage Her Finances
If you’re close to the person, perhaps offer to manage her finances and teach her good financial habits. My roommate in college, Jenny, was terrible with money and regularly asked her friends for handouts. One of our friends, Simone, was studying to be an accountant. She offered to manage Jenny’s finances. Jenny happily agreed.
For six months, Simone managed Jenny’s finances. She set up a budget for her and gave her money for spending, gas, groceries, etc. Simone paid the rest of Jenny’s bills with Jenny’s money. Once Jenny got used to the system and having a limit, Simone taught her to budget her money and pay her bills herself. By senior year, Jenny was a budgeting pro and even sometimes offered to pay the tab when she was out with friends.
For this arrangement to work, you must be close to the person, and you must both trust one another. In addition, the person has to want to improve their financial situation. If the person doesn’t have any interest in managing her money, you’ll just waste your time.
Offer Him a Financial Course
If you don’t want to manage his money (which is understandable), you could offer to pay for him to take a financial course. Financial Peace University is a Dave Ramsey course that has helped many people turn their financial lives around. However, it’s not the only course available. Find one that will best resonate with the person and that you can afford to pay for.
When you make this gesture, you’re not refusing the person outright. You’re refusing to enable the person, but you’re offering to pay for a class and invest in him and his education. This shows that you want to keep the relationship strong.
Why You Should Stop Lending Money
Saying no to someone who repeatedly asks for money can feel awkward and embarrassing. However, you should say no for several reasons.
You Work Hard and Should Keep Your Money
You likely work hard for your income. Giving a portion of that money to someone who mismanages her own money isn’t fair to you. If you choose to donate the money, that’s your decision. However, if you give this person money out of guilt or because you feel bad saying no, do yourself a favor and value yourself, your time, and your money more. You’ll feel better when you do.
Avoid Spousal Disputes
The number one cause of divorce is money disputes. If you continually give money to someone in your life, chances are your spouse is not happy about this. Your spouse will likely be much happier if you learn to say no to the person. Then, you can use your money for your own family—for vacations, retirement savings, college savings, etc.
Let the Person Become Independent
You may feel bad when you say no. You may wonder how she’ll survive without the money she needs for whatever pressing emergency she has now. She’ll probably be angry with you and lash out.
However, take the time to look in the future. Imagine how much happier and stronger this person will be in a year when she is no longer looking for handouts and knows how to manage her own money. She’ll be more confident and feel better about herself. By saying no, you’re helping her grow as a person.
Final Thoughts
Saying no when a person keeps on asking for money isn’t easy. However, remember that you’re doing the right thing for yourself, your spouse, and the person who keeps on asking. When you set clear boundaries, you strengthen your relationships. If the person doesn’t understand this, you may, unfortunately, lose the relationship. If she does understand and makes changes, she’ll thank you later.
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What to Keep in Your Pantry?
Since the pandemic, many of us now realize that having a full pantry is a necessity. Of course, this is different than hoarding and having so many items in your pantry that you’ll never be able to use them. Instead, your pantry should have enough to be able to feed you and your family for a month to three months. How much you need depends on a variety of variables.
Why Keep a Fully Stocked Pantry?
Keeping a fully stocked pantry is necessary for a few reasons:
You May Get Sick
If you get sick, you may not want to or be able to go to the grocery store. In such a situation, you can find items in your pantry to prepare for meals.
You May Have a Weather Event
In many parts of the country, having a fully stocked pantry is essential because weather events may prevent you from getting to the store. You may have hurricanes in the South. In the Midwest and East Coast, blizzards may keep you from the store.
You Want to Save Money
If you build your pantry slowly, you can stock up on items when they go on sale. For instance, maybe canned beans are $1.29 a can, but you buy them on sale for $0.99 a can. If you buy 20 cans, you have saved $6.
In addition, if you have a fully stocked pantry, preparing meals is a snap because you likely have all of the ingredients you need. If you decide one night that you’d like to make chicken noodle soup, you probably have everything in the pantry, so you can easily make the meal. When everything is at your fingertips, cooking can be quicker than ordering take-out and waiting for the meal to arrive.
Supply Chains May Be Interrupted
In the United States, we are spoiled. Before the pandemic, most people never had experienced empty store shelves. If you, like me, thought that after 2020, empty store shelves were a thing of the past, you likely now know that thanks to supply chain issues, our days of items being unavailable are not over. We may be facing this situation through next year. If you keep a fully stocked pantry, you’ll be less affected by the market turmoil.
What to Keep in Your Pantry?
So, you’ve decided having a fully stocked pantry is necessary, but what does that mean exactly? What should you include in your pantry? Here are some ideas.
Baking & Cooking Supplies
You’ll want to include ingredients for basic baking and cooking recipes:
- Baking soda,
- Baking powder,
- Flour,
- Sugar,
- Cocoa
- Salt,
- Pepper,
- Onion,
- Garlic,
- Seasonings
Ingredients for Simple Meals
You’ll also want to include ingredients for simple meals you can make fully from the pantry. If you like spaghetti, include noodles and spaghetti sauce. If you like taco soup, make sure to have taco seasoning, beans, tomatoes, and nacho chips. You may also want to have some canned soups. Just open, heat, and eat.
Vegetables and Fruits
If you don’t mind eating canned vegetables and fruits, make sure to have those. If you’re without power due to a hurricane, for instance, you could always eat those without needing a stovetop.
Toiletries
Before 2020, I don’t think most of us realized just how much we take having toilet paper for granted! Toilet paper is just one of the toiletries you’ll want to have stocked in your pantry. You’ll also benefit from having the following:
- Toothpaste,
- Deodorant,
- Dental floss,
- Shampoo,
- Soap,
- Band-aids
What Should Be in the Freezer?
If you can afford a freezer chest, I highly recommend buying one. My husband and I have had one for almost as long as we’ve been married, and it’s paid for itself over and over again. If you want to have a well-balanced diet even if you can’t get to the store, a freezer is essential. Consider stocking these items:
Meat
If you’re an omnivore, consider stocking a variety of meat. We usually have beef, pork, chicken, and a variety of fish. A deep freezer pays off if you can stock your freezer with meat you found on sale or if you can buy a quarter side of beef direct from the farmer.
Vegetables
Keep a variety of frozen vegetables. Once your fresh vegetables run out, you can turn to frozen for nutrition. You may want to include
- Peas,
- Corn,
- Mixed vegetables,
- Greens like spinach and kale,
- Cauliflower,
- Broccoli,
- Lima beans
Fruit
You’ll also want to include frozen fruit for the same reason. We frequently make smoothies with our frozen fruit, but you can also eat it plain or mixed into items like yogurt. We keep the following in the freezer:
- Blueberries,
- Strawberries,
- Mango,
- Pineapple,
- Bananas
- Smoothie mixes (I bought a bag from Costco that has berries as well as some greens like spinach. The kids said it tasted less sweet than a regular smoothie, but they drank it down.)
How Should You Build a Pantry?
Most of us can’t afford to fully stock a pantry in one swoop. Instead, buy items little by little as they go on sale. For instance, spaghetti is a great pantry meal. Recently, there was a coupon for our preferred jars of spaghetti sauce. Instead of being $2.49 a jar, they were on sale for .99 a jar. I bought the maximum limit of 5. If you do this week after week, you’ll soon have a full pantry with items bought at a lower price than if you just went to the store weekly to pick up what you need.
How to Maintain a Pantry
Once your pantry is full, keep a running list of items that are low or that you’re out of. Then, buy those items again to refill your pantry.
Don’t forget to put the items that expire soonest at the front of the pantry so you’ll use them up first. Put the replenished items with a later expiration date in the back.
Final Thoughts
If you haven’t already, now is the time to create a fully stocked pantry. Hopefully, you now have some ideas of what to keep in your pantry and can start building it with items you find on sale each week at the grocery store. Even if you don’t have an emergency, you’ll be glad to have a fully stocked pantry because it makes meal prep so much easier!
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